
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12376350.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Criminal_Minds_(US_TV)
  Relationship:
      Alex_Blake_&_David_Rossi, Derek_Morgan/Spencer_Reid, The_rest_you_will
      have_to_read_to_see
  Character:
      Aaron_Hotchner, Derek_Morgan, Spencer_Reid, David_Rossi, Penelope_Garcia,
      Elle_Greenaway, Jennifer_"JJ"_Jareau, Emily_Prentiss, Ashley_Seaver, Erin
      Strauss
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-10-15 Words: 2397
****** The Reason Behind His Glare ******
by criminalmindss312and309
Summary
     This is one of my older stories I wrote about two years ago. This is
     one of my favorites. It's a Hotch story and I wrote my intake on why
     he rarely smiles. This is Hotch story, he will be having flashbacks
     HORRIBLE NIGHTMARES,about his past, but he won't realize it right
     away.. A case in Mississippi will haunt him and eventually he will
     realize his nightmares might not just be nightmares.. It is very dark
     in some places and and very emotional, read at your own risk!!!!!!!!!
The Introduction 1975.. Hotch POV.. "Wake up Aaron I heard a voice say"..My
eight year old body didn't want to wake up.. I tried turning over but that was
a mistake.. "Wake up you little bastard his voice said"... Before I could fully
register the demand I was snatched from the bed by my hair and thrown to the
floor.. I cried out which earned me a sharp kick to my back.. "Didn't I tell
you to wash the fucking dishes my father whispered harshly?" " I I I did I
cried holding my side"... "Are you calling me a lier boy he asked?" "No, I
said", whimpering and shaking... I looked over at my five year old brother Sean
bed and was glad he was a hard sleeper.. That also explained why daddy was
whispering... Sean never witnessed any of my beatings, my torture.. "Come with
me", my father whispered harshly.. I stood painfully and followed him to the
kitchen.. My mother obviously wasn't home because he wasn't keeping his voice
down now..." Look in the sink", he screamed once we were in the kitchen.. I
looked in the sink and there was a spoon.. one little spoon.. "When I tell you
to do something I mean it boy he yelled,now you must be punished"..I couldn't
stop the tears because I didn't know which punishment I would receive...I
looked at him with fear, and pleading.... He smiled and dropped his pants..
"You know what time it is you little bitch", he said as he removed his penis
from his boxers... "Crawl to me"...I obeyed because this wasn't the worst
punishment, although it was the grossest... "You know what to do and if you
scrap my dick, I'm taking you to the barn house".. No my mind screamed because
that was the absolute worst.. "I won't scrap you daddy I promised".. "You
better not he said"...I opened my mouth wide and slowly took him into it, still
crying and scared I would mess up...
Hotch POV.. I stayed on my knees for hours, but daddy didn't care... He
released that horrible white stuff, in my mouth three times, made me sallow it
,before he let me up.. He then took every dish out of the cabinets and made me
rewash them all... Then he made me sit on the floor while he fussed at me even
more..
"You are weak Aaron Hotchner, very weak.. I'm embarrassed you are my first
born, you worthless piece of shit. You should have been a girl he said
giggling.That's why I keep you on your knees he said laughing again.. You
better not tell a soul I make you suck my dick, he threatened, or I will kill
you he said with a sinister smile.. You understand he screamed"..Yes Daddy I
said in a trembling voice.. "Good go to bed bitch, before I make you suck me
again".. I hurried to bed... Sean was still sleep, snoring away, while I lay in
the bed crying softly...
Present Day.. I slept through my alarm and my phone ringing back to back for
thirty minutes.... Since I was five minutes from the job, Morgan came to my
house and banged on my door until I woke up.. My eyes were hurting, like I had
been crying in my sleep... I glanced in the mirror and almost didn't recognize
myself.. My hair was standing up in every direction.. My face was blotchy red
and my eyes were blood shot red.." Hotch are you in there Morgan yelled".. I
hurried to the door and opened it.. Hotch its nine thirty and..He paused taking
in my reflection.. Are you alright Aaron he asked concerned? Yes I am I said
lying, I just over slept... He looked looked he didn't believe me, but he let
it go.. We have a case in Mississippi he finally said.. Give me ten minutes and
I'll be ready.. On second thought go on to the BAU, I'll be there soon.. No
disrespect but I don't think you should be driving man.. You look exhausted..
Morgan I'm fine.. No you aren't and I be damned if I let you drive in this
state.. You are riding with me.. But, no buts he get dressed he ordered.. I
smiled and repeated I would be dressed in ten minutes.. I'll grab your go bag
after, but first in making you a cup of coffee.. Thanks Derek I said... No
problem man he said as I walked back to my room...
As I dressed I remembered my dream.. I didn't understand why I was dreaming
about a boy been abused and hurt by his father and why the boy had my name... I
didn't remember much about my childhood... As a matter of fact,I didn't
remember anything before the age sixteen... It was strange ,but I didn't worry
about it much.. My mother said my childhood was normal, Sean said I was a brat,
but Dad never said much.. We weren't close ,but I respected the man, he was my
father after all... The drama started about a year ago, after a case involving
a young woman... The case was so sick, it broke my heart.. Her name was Casey
and she was twenty one.. She had killed three father's of her friends, bc she
said they all tried to rape her.. She really believed her story and was put
under hypnosis to try to relive her childhood... Come to find out her father
and mother raped and abused her for years . her father was a medical doctor, so
after they raped her, he would use electric shot to make her forget.. But he
always whispered after each rape, that she had the prettiest eyes like
diamonds... She never forgot that, so when her three friends father's said the
same thing innocently, her mind snapped back to that dark place she didn't
understand.. And she waited till they were alone in their own home,and then
killed then with a single blow to the temple.. The last friend walked in as she
struck her father, and that's how she was caught by us.. She sat beside the
body, just crying and in shock, the friend called us and that was it.. Anyway
the nightmare started that night and continued each night... I couldn't tell
anyone without looking crazy, so I kept the nightmares to myself... I quickly
dressed and walked out to the kitchen.. Here you go Morgan said smiling.. You
don't look like something from a creep show he said laughing.. Shut up I
said... We laughed as we walked to his car...
 
Morgan POV... It wasn't like Hotch to never be late.. Especially not almost two
hours late... Even when Haley was killed two years ago, he was never late..
When he opened that door he looked like hell.. Of course I wouldn't tell him
that, but he did... And his eyes were blood shot red, as if he had been
crying....I didn't want to prey but I was going to watch him carefully... I
love him like a brother and I be damned if I let something happen to him,
especially since I knew something wasn't right... I changed the radio to a soft
jazz station bc he didn't look like he wanted to hear nothing hard.. We drove
to work in silence.. Thanks Morgan he said smiling slightly.. No problem Hotch
you would do the same for me.. And whenever you need to talk, I am here he
said.. I know I said... and again thanks.. Were walked into the conference room
in silence...
Hotch POV.. I'm sorry I'm late I apologized immediately.. It's ok Garcia said,
we were just worried about you Boss Man.. No need I said, please fill me in..
The case is in Mississippi Garcia began... Ten year old Michael had been
missing for three hours now... Why weren't we notified immediately JJ asked?
The mother wasn't aware he was missing.. She claims to have worked over night,
nine pm to five am... leaving the boy at home with his father.. She said both
father and son was asleep, so she showered and went to sleep.. At six am the
father woke her asking where Michael was.. She thought he was with him and told
him so... They searched the house and outside, and then called the Mississippi
Police Department... They contacted us at 7:30 and we called you but you didn't
answer.. This unsub had a three hour head start, wheels up in ten minutes I
said.. We all ready now Aaron, Dave said.. Good let's go I said looking at
everyone.. I was ashamed that we had lost almost 2 hour because of my
negligence... Our team was larger than it had been in years.. Nine of us, ten
if you counted Strauss.
Elle POV... Hey Morgan I called as we walked towards the jet, is Hotch ok? I
don't know Elle, why do you ask? He looked like he didn't sleep much last
night... Maybe he had a hot date he suggested laughing.. Morgan please, that
man hadn't had a date since Haley died.. Maybe you should ask him out.. Go to
hell Morgan I said blushing because I did have a tiny crush in our Boss.. But I
wasn't telling anyone because I was to scared it may get back to him.. Your
blushing Elle, Morgan said laughing.. You do have the hots for him.. Whatever
meat head, I said.. You should ask him out he teased.. I will if you ask our
resident genius out.. What he asked blushing hard because I see the blush
through his dark skin.. Come on Morgan, I notice his you always touch him, how
you eyes sparkle when you call him pretty boy.. Woman you are delusional, I'm a
ladies man he boosted.. I knew he was lying although I didn't push it.. Derek
and I are close and I knew in due time, were both would reveal our crushes to
each other... but now wasn't the time because we had a little boy to save..
JJ POV... Spence did Hotch look like he was ok I asked? No JJ he looked tired,
like he didn't get much sleep. he answered looking up from his books. Maybe he
had a nightmare, he suggested.. Why do you think that I asked? Well people
normally can't sleep for three reasons... They either are wired up about
something, slept to much during the day, or it's nightmares he explained..
Obviously Hotch can't sleep in the day because we are here or on a case.. He
could be wired up about something, but it would have to be serious to keep
Hotch up.. You know Hotch wouldn't let anything mess with his sleep, unless he
was worried about one of us or someone special, that he hadn't had since
Haley.. So that leaves the nightmare he said.. What could keep him from
sleeping though I asked? He looked at me strange and said seriously JJ? What we
see and do on a daily basis would haunt anyone..I know that Spence, but until
today our cases hadn't been that bad.. True but it could be an old case or
something he explained.. True I said, we just need to keep an eye on him... Ok
he agreed.. Heads up man crush entering I said teasing him.. His head jerked up
from his book ,and he saw Morgan entering the jet with Elle.. Stop it JJ he
said blushing hard. I couldn't control my laughter, which earned me a glare
from Spence... I laughed some more because regardless of how many times he
denied it, to me, I knew he has a crush on our resident play boy...
Blake POV.. Dave, is it just me or do Hotch seem a more tired than usual? Yes
as a matter of fact, he has looked tired this whole week.. Have you tried
taking to him I asked? Of course I have, but you know Hotch won't admit
anything unless he have no choice... You should try again Dave, you are the
closest to him ,and even if he won't reveal what's bothering him today, he may
do so soon.. I will he promised.. Thank you I said smiling... He leaned over
and kissed my check.. Stop it I said blushing hard.. Why he said laughing
softly? the team already know we are together.. I know that Dave, but in sure
they don't want to see our public display of love.. Yes we do Morgan said
laughing, making me blush harder.. Morgan you need a woman, Dave shot back...
Dave I can have any woman I want... To much information player Dave said.. We
all laughed, Morgan laughing the hardest...
Ashley POV.. Emily I'm worried about Hotch I said.. I know Ashley, I am to.. He
look like he hasn't had a proper good night sleep in the last week or so.. Do
you think the nightmares are back I asked? Maybe she answered.. Although time
has passed I don't think enough time can pass, for you to heal the hurt of
losing your wife, and your son on the same day... He never talk about Jack or
Haley she continued.. It's like they never existed.. . He beat him to death,
and still that wasn't enough to heal him..And none of us talk about it either
,because we are all to afraid of him having a break down... Its not healthy she
repeated. I nodded and said, let's keep an eye on him.. We will she promised..
Shush she said..I looked up and saw Hotch entering the plane..
Hotch POV... I entered the plane and without profiling my team, I know they all
had been talking about me.. I wasn't upset though because I knew they all were
concerned.. We all worry about each other.. I sat by myself but still in the
view of the team.. We didn't bother debriefing because Garcia had gave us
everything she had..I laid back, intending to rest only my eyes before we made
it to Mississippi, which is a two hour trip.. But I got to comfortable and I
was sleep before I realized it and of course I was having another nightmare...
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